How to Build a Lasting Relationship

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The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. Ever heard that?? This thought can be a distracting, and even sometimes an alluring temptation. Truthfully, when we do not give the proper time and effort to fertilizing our own intimate relationship, or marriage, the “grass” may not be looking too hot.

Let’s take a look at this phrase and flip it on its head by saying this – “The grass is greener WHERE YOU WATER IT” (and fertilize, and cut, and care for… but you get the point 😜).

This simple idea cannot be overstated. Why? Because taking care of and paying close attention to the most important relationship you will have in your life is very important. Your intimate relationship is BEST SERVED when it is cared for on a regular and ongoing basisl. So, whether you are young and chasing after the love of your life, or have been married for 36 years, this truth still holds the same – WATER your relationships with the all that it needs to be sustainable, resilient, healthy, growing, thriving, FUN and most of all rewarding!

5 Things You Can Do to Water Your Relationship

Know What Speaks to Your Partner. This is truly an important element when keeping the grass green on your side of the fence. If you want the grass to be full and healthy then you’re going to need to maintenance it and find out what best serves your yard. This means that if your partner could care less about getting a bouquet of flowers, then coming home with a dozen roses would be a total miss. This would not communicate “love and appreciation” to them in the way you would hope for. Instead, learn what does speak to your partner and focus on doing more of that. It could be as simple as seeing a sink full of dishes so you jump in to tackle that task. Maybe a handwritten love letter on a post it note, that you left on the bathroom mirror or perhaps you get up earlier than your partner with the effort to make their cup off coffee for them so you can deliver it to them when they wake up. If you don’t already know these things, ask, learn, and have fun discovering what nourishes them!

Make Time to Be With Your Partner. We are not just referring to sexual intimacy here, though that is important, we are talking about creating intimacy within your relationship that is ALL about connecting. Having a catch up of what happened throughout your day while you and chatting over leftovers is one thing, but we are saying be sure to dig deeper and get more intentional. The kind of time spent with your partner that we are talking about here is time to simply “BE” together. This is time spent talking about what waters your relationship so it can continue to GROW and cultivate excitement and adventure in each of you. These are the daydreaming times that foster and invoke future goals and dreams that keep you connected. The future house, travel plans, or acres of land that you can’t wait to grow old with are the conversational dreams that water your relationship.

Cut Out Unhealthy Patterns. In sticking with a lawn based theme here 😆 you cannot afford to let the lawn of your relationship become overgrown and unkept. You don’t want unhealthy patterns or expectations to grow in your relationship that will choke out the good things you are trying to accomplish in your marriage. Understand that you need to take time to pour into your relationship so that the positive things have the nutrients to keep growing. Don’t let weeds take over in your relationship. Tend to it often enough so that you can keep it in good condition.

Plan Out What You Both Want to Do. Take the time and effort to know what you and your partner want to accomplish in your relationship together. Share what your goals and dreams are so that you can encourage each other to reach them. Keeping tabs with one another will help to ensure you are both heading in the same direction. Being on the same page is important and also helps you to be able to support your partner in their endeavors.

Repair the Dead Spots. You cannot ignore the dead spots that you see in your own yard. They are obvious and obnoxiously brown. This takes some work and mental effort, but will be well worth it! This may mean something different for each couple  – maybe a marriage retreat, maybe you need a botanist (therapist) to help get everything back on track. Maybe it is something as simple as planning weekly DATE NIGHTS AGAIN. Maybe its the little things that need reviving – a surprise, a simple fun evenings at home, perhaps the thoughtfulness of quirky or fun gift… just do something that will keep you both burning with strong desire to be with each other. If you have set aside your dating life, it is not to late to ignite that once again. Start immediately and the embers of love will ignite and the result will be GREENER GRASS that you both want. Go ahead, we dare you.

Ok, so the overreaching point to be had here, is that you have to WATER it where you want it green. Keeping that grass GREEN right where you are is being intentional and taking care of what you have on a regular basis. It is setting out to make sure that you are successful in keeping your most prized relationship ALIVE and THRIVING!

Jason & Dellynn

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All Rights Reserved © 2022 The F.A.M. Project